It’s been a rather emotions-full week at my therapy place. Not that it’s something rare, of course. After all that’s one of the subjects in my work, the emotional experiences we try to make sense of. This week, however, a unique, and at the same time uniting experience of anxiety was prevailing.
The worlds’ news – that’s what has kept many of my clients awake, and to be fair, I’ve “shared” some awake hours dedicated to the world and us in it too. The world nowadays is brought to us in many ways, and we’ve been kept witnesses for much pain and fear. During recent weeks the pain and fear took a different level of reality – a near - future one.
Even though I’m building and having an opinion on matters that are important for me, this post isn’t about that. It’s a post of selfcare and the reasons why it matters. Even in the darkest of darkness.
Protecting our mental and overall well-being in times, which bring fear, is essential – because it is something we actually can do. Found myself close to “preaching” why is that important (it’s something, that shoudln't happen - "preaching", but sometimes does, when the therapist gets a little overly worried). My answer - because the future may feel uncertain, but history shows us that we, as humanity, have seen crises and are still here. Because when we care for ourselves, we preserve the capacity to create and foster change, and simply by being, we assist others to try to do the same. Progress has often begun with small, unnoticed steps that ripple outward. What is important to remember is, that as long as we’re around and trying, we’re part of the possibility for a different future.
So what can we do for surviving times of uniting us crises?
I keep reminding myself, I don’t have to do it alone. I reach out – to family, friends, colleagues, community. And don’t limit myself geographically. I look for the likeminded ones. Sometimes they even don’t need to know of my concerns and dark thoughts – they are just a harbour with a familiar lighthouse. Memories, past and present, upon which I can continue building future even in uncertainty.
I ground myself in the Present. I try to focus on what is now, in an hour, today – things tangible. I can even practice the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique: list five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste. Even if I’m not in the spiral of “what ifs”.
I try to challenge the dark thoughts with getting practical with them - what is the worst-case scenario? How likely is it to happen? Is there something I can do now? And then I can even write them down. My brain likes additional confirmation, that I have really thought about it “all”. It has been shown more than once, that writing these disturbing thoughts down can clarify thinking and even reveal new perspectives, something I haven’t seen before.
I also remind myself what’s truly important for me – now and tomorrow. Not only people and things, but kindness, community, my environment. And then I make a list of the small, steps I could do. Today and tomorrow. Right now we are preparing presents for the Christmas trees for families in difficult times. That’s my today. Tomorrow I’ll put some more Christmas lights outside and will make another Christmas wreath for my elderly neighbours. This sort of doings act on our hearts in a gently subtle kind of way - they restore a sense of agency and purpose.
I definitely try to remember the Balance. Consciously I limit exposure to news in general – once to twice daily, and such sources, which I find objective and with a matter-of-fact style in presenting, because I have my imaginative brain for the emotional side if I need to. I stay informed but avoid overloading. And after reading, I look for the balance - time in nature, with my dog, writing, dancing, climbing.
So here we are – in yet another time of change for the world and us in it. I’ve come to understand that changes aren’t possible without a crises – or rather a crisis does mean that a change is inevitable. Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher, emphasized that life is in a constant state of flux. "The only constant in life is change." said he. Whatever “embracing change” means for each and everyone of us, it is part of our existence. What if we look for the path with the thought of not being alone?
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